Life is not fair, but unending in its capacity to change us; … compassion is fair and feeling is just; … we are not responsible for all that befalls us, only for how we receive it and for how we hold each other up along the way. ~ Adapted from Mark Nepo
Today’s world makes it very hard to live in reality!
It seems that things change very quickly. You can get instantaneous input from all over the world. You are bombarded with information constantly.
The world is changing very rapidly and it is easy to get swept up in the idea of “just one tweak and your whole world will be different.”
In reality, this seldom happens…
Change comes from constant evolution. A (usually) slow process…
It’s a matter of testing as you go. Taking one step forward as an experiment and seeing what happens. Followed by another small step in that same direction or followed by a course correction depending on what the results of the first step were.
It’s experimentation, evaluation, more experimentation. Today’s world has sped up the timeframe, especially for getting results, but it has not changed the process.
I believe that one of the most important traits that you can foster in yourself is curiosity. If you realize that you don’t already know everything and are curious to learn more, this will lead to constantly improving yourself.
Here’s why this is true. Have you heard of Chaos Science? It’s a branch of physics that has discovered that the world is more of a
flow of patterns and turns,
surprising relationships and
than a world of predictable, straight-line reactions. This means that it’s almost impossible to predict where you will end up just from knowing where you are starting.
That’s not a bad thing. It just means you need to be good at being realistic and flexible!
Never forget that you always have a choice.
This is what makes any outcome bearable. It is true even though you may not always believe you have a choice.
Reality is that no matter what the circumstances, you always have a choice of how to respond to it. There is always more than one option. If you feel like there is only one, it’s because the other option(s) is so unappealing to you right now.
Or sometimes it feels like your only two choices are both bad. Usually there are a lot of choices in between those two that you are not even looking at. You claim your personal power when you intentionally look at all the possible choices in a situation. The best choice for you is one designed by creativity, imagination, and compromise.
I say it like this to my clients “the more you think you already know, the fewer options you have”. Instead, simply stay open to getting more information. Stay focused on right now and what you can sense and learn – without judgment.
And suddenly the possibilities in all the little nooks and crannies of life open up to you. Details, options and possibilities you wouldn’t have otherwise noticed.
Because busy is the enemy of staying real.
Busy is different than being productive and hard working. Busy includes pressure to do more because you can never have it all done when you are busy.
Busy always leads to operating in survival mode. When your best effort is not enough and you must strive continuously do more and do it faster, you lose perspective. Every little thing becomes of importance because it could throw you off schedule.
Being busy can give you the sense that you have everything under control, but with the unpredictable nature of life that is illusion. Instead being busy robs you of being in the moment and making good choices.
Technology can be a time saver, but instead of it enabling you to add quality time to your life, it often leads to a higher expectation of all that you should accomplish in a day. Do not allow technology to push you towards an endless “to do” list.
Just as our earth cannot thrive with only sunshine, you can’t thrive without rest and relaxation. You must have time for “being” instead of “doing”. You need it for Tending Your Spirit and you also need it for Staying Real.
It is only by slowing down and exploring deep within yourself that you can raise your awareness of your own dreams and hopes… Until you know your dreams, you do not know how to spend your time.
Your dreams will tell you the top 2-3 priorities in your life at this time. This is where you need to be focusing your time and your energy.
Give up on the frenzy of busy for a while. Remember the turtle who won the race by going at its own pace, slow and steady. And, as with all things, change starts at home. Start where you are. Accept who you are. These items are mandatory and may not be easy.
I would love to explore with you how you can bring positive change into your life by staying real. The process of change can be much quicker with a guide to help you.
A friend once said to me, “Healing begins when you stop wishing you had a different story.” If you find yourself wishing for a different story in your life, I hope you will contact me for a no obligation conversation about how to make those changes happen so you too can heal.
Let’s stop the fantasy and start making the reality what you want it to be! Just click the link below and let me know what you would like to change.